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Friday, May 27, 2011



It really happened and I could not believe it. The person that I should trust just did things to my body that confused me more than before. In my young head, something was telling me that it was wrong but my body responded in a different way.

I remember a scene in the movie Calvento Files, where the lawyer questioned the rape victim on witness stand: ‘Sagutin mo ang tanong ko? Nag-enjoy ka ba?!’

 I felt anger after, not only for Lolo D but also to myself, because I did not hesitate and allowed it to happen. After that incident, all things came back to normal as if all was just a bad dream.  

I know that I should tell Lola B of the incident so that Lolo D will not attempt to do it again, but I was afraid that something bad might happen to Lola if I will tell. I am afraid of the scandal that it will bring to my family if it comes out. Our town is a small town and we practically know each other, my family will not be able to handle such gossip. I eventually decided to shut up. Nobody suspected that something wrong happened between Lolo D and I, because I acted normal, in home and school.   

Then one night, while having our dinner, Lolo D asked for permission to my Lola if he could bring me to their province in the north for three days because he will get the payment for the farm they sold. Lola B agreed immediately adding that I will have the chance to see the house where Lolo E grew up and could enjoy the last few weeks of summer vacation.

I was speechless and had no choice but to eventually agree with the idea with the hope that nothing “wrong” will happen during that vacation. We will live after lunch the next day. I could not sleep that night and tried not to be excited for the trip. I was awaken by Lola B’s combination of continuous knock on my door and loud voice urging me to wake up and fixed myself for the long travel.

Before we left, Lola reminded me that I should be a good boy and follow everything that Lolo D will tell and ask of me. I slept throughout the four-hour drive going the Lolo D’s province. When the occasional road bumps woke me up, I’ll catch Lolo D looking at me with a devilish grin while humming some old tunes. I’ll give a forced smile, close my eyes and try to go back to sleep drowning myself to the sounds of the wind and passing tricycles and other vehicles.

We arrived at our destination before dark, Lolo D’s family welcomed us, and after the usual pleasantries, his sister in law asked one of his sons to help me bring our things in the second floor and show us our room while the rest of the family prepare for dinner and Lolo D talked business with his brother. The house was an old two-story Spanish type ‘bahay na bato’. The first floor was obviously a big room that were divided into several rooms occupied by the family of Lolo D’s younger brother, while nobody occupied the second floor with as small receiving room going to the dining room and kitchen. It has two rooms but Lolo D told his nephew that we would be occupying the big room, as we will be staying for only two days. All in that room was big: bed, windows, cabinet, lamps, and religious icons that made me feel small. Alone in that room I was still convincing myself that nothing will happen in this trip unless I allowed it again to happen. In my little naïve mind I was planning my moves when I heard Lolo D calling me for dinner.

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