CAN I DO THIS?..... CAN YOU?

BACK FROM OBLIVION

I hope that this will be for good..

Been sick for a week and stressed out of the suspicion that it may lead to the dreaded "Dengue", I have to slow down..

I hope that you are all still there..

NANINIWALA AKO! (An Update)

Sa aking kapatid na Pongpong Pagong!


Kahit masama ang aking pakiramdam at nasa banig ng karamdaman..

MALIGAYANG PAGBATI SA IYONG PAG-PASA 

SA NURSING BOARD EXAM!!!

Sabi sa iyo..Naniniwala akong...Kayang-Kaya mo yan! pak na pak!


Isang magandang belated birthday regalo sa iyo ito ng Nasa Taas..


Inuman na! Tara! ;D

SICK

I don't feel good..


I am sick..


I hope it's not dengue..

4 THINGS..

4 Things I need to spend more time on in my life:
1. Exercise, I'm still way too far on my target weight.
2. Save some money. I have been spending like hell.
3. Eating less but not eating the right healthy food.
4. Have my house fixed and put up a fence around it.

4 Things I need to spend less time on in my life:
1. In my room.
2. Day dreaming.
3. Thinking of getting old alone.
4. In front of the computer.

4 Things I wish I could spend more time on in my life:
1. Travelling and seeing the world!
2. Demonyitong Promdi, you know I love you guys a lot!
3. My family and best friends and my dog, they are my life.
4. Reading good books.

4 Things I love about myself:
1. My ability to love.
2. My ability to listen to somebody without judging him or her.
3. My creative and humorous mind.
4. Myself! I was Born This Way baby!

4 Things I hate about myself:
1. My nose.
2. My balding head.
3. My chubby built.
4. My emotional Piscean personalty.

4 Things I love that I used to hate:
1. Teaching.
2. Reading.
3. Gay friends.
4. Lady Gaga.

4 Things I hate that I used to love:
1. Smoking.
2. Eating.
3. Gossip.
4. Twitter, I just don't have the luxury of time for it.

4 Things I look forward to:
1. Sex. Who doesn't?
2. Hanging out with friends.
3. Weekends and/or holiday.
4. Updating Demonyitong Promdi.

4 Things I dread:
1. Confrontation.
2. Rejection.
3. Senseless conversation.
4. No one will take care of me at my old age.

4 Things I once believed in but no longer do:
1. I'm bi.
2. Wife.
3. I'll win a Lotto jackpot prize.
4. I can work abroad.

4 Things I believe in that I didn't use to:
1. I could still find friends like…You!
2. Being gay is okay.
3. Exercise.
4. Taking care of my health.

4 Things I love to do but I'm bad at:
1. Writing.
2. Be silent.
3. Be modest.
4. Playing a musical instrument.

4 Things I hate to do but I'm good at:
1. Teaching.
2. Planning Events.
3. Be involve.
4. Telling lies.

4 Things I did that I'm ashamed of:
1. I’ve watched too much porn.
2. I lied a lot when I was young.
3. Not going back to work after a meeting.
4. I took advantage of drunken friends.

4 Things I did that I'm proud of:
1. Demonyitong Promdi.
2. Started losing the extra weight!
3. Teaching for 15 years.
4. Supporting my nieces.

4 Things I didn't do that I regret:
1. Don't
2. Live
3. Yourself in
4. Regret

4 Things I want before I die:
1. Kids.
2. A partner.
3. Happiness.
4. Good Life.

LATE BLOMMER (2)

1

   For the longest time, I really wanted to work abroad. When the “Caregiver in Canada” was in its early boom here in Philippines, I was in batch 7 of a caregiver program of a known training center in Quezon City in the late ‘90’s. I was already teaching then, but for me it was just a temporary gig. Lagi kong sinasabi, ‘Di ako tatandang titser’, even my friends tell me to study more for promotion purposes, but I’ll tell them that I don’t need to study because I don’t intend to for long my stay in the education business.

   Andami ko ng application sa kung ano-anong agency, maging online man yan o may personal appearance pa ako. So far, sa awa ng Maykapal, di pa naman ako naloloko ng major-major, slight lang o muntikan. Canada, US, UK, Dubai, Hongkong at Ireland, yan ang mga bansang pinangarap kong puntahan sa pamamagitan ng paghahanap ng trabaho, at di ako namimili ng trabaho, mula sa pagiging caregiver hanggang janitor handa kong pasukan, makaalis lang sa bansa. Dahil ang prinsipyo ko, kung aalis din lang naman ako sa pagtuturo, might as well find another job. Ang inaayawan, din a binabalikan.

   Nagipon din ako ng malaking salapi, bilang panustos sa balaking ito. Pero ewan ko ba, parang nananadya ang tadhana, yung una kong application sa Canada for direct hiring ay naging ‘in positive progress’ na, nagpadala na rin ako ng placement fee sa agency na ‘yun, ng biglang kailangan na bumili ako ng lupa at magpatayo ng bahay dahil walang matitirahan ang pamilya ng bunso kong kapatid at para sa akin na rin kasi uunahan ko na ang anak-anakan ng Lolo at Lola ko na nagpalaki sa akin, bago pa ako mapalayas. Ang siste, iniatras ko ang application ko sa Canada upang makuha ang pera.

   Pikit mata, bumili ako ng lupa at nagpatayo ng bahay, paunti-unti. Loan dito, loan doon, bawal magluho. Nung matapos ng bahagya ang bahay ko at maari ng tirhan, pinalipat ko na ang kapatid ko. Five months later, ako naman ang lumipat. Dahil may natira pa akong pera sa naibalik na placement fee, bumili ako ng pampasaherong tricycle to hit two birds with one stone: unang bato, para may maghahatid sa akin sa pinapasukan ko, kasi malayo-layo rin ang bahay ko sa iskul; ikalawang bato: para may pag-kakitaan si bayaw at hindi lagging umaasa sa akin. O di ba prefect!

   Matapos akong makalipat, nagipon uli ako, para pang-gastos ko sa binabalak kong pagpunta ng dubai o macau, para magtrabaho. Nang sapat na ito, biglang nangailangan ang kapatid kong sumunod sa akin ng pera para pang placement fee nya sa pag punta sa Qatar. Ang unang plano ay mag-loan sya sa sa in-house financing ng agency nya at ako ang gagawing Guarantor ng kanyang loan. Pero naiisip ko  na kung ako ang magiging guarantor, pag hindi nakabayad si kapatid sa hulog ako din ang magbabayad. Ay nako, talo ako dun, kaya ang naisip ko, ipahiram na lang sa kanya ang naipon kong pera, at pag sweldo nya, bayaran nya ako ng walang patong. Safe pa ‘yon.

   Nakaalis si kapatid papuntang Qatar, lumipas ang isang buwan, ang isang taon, wala akong narinig sa kapatid ko o kahit sa asawa niya. Suma total, hanggang ngayon hindi pa nababayaran si pobreng Kuya, at si kapatid nakauwi na, hindi pa rin nagpapakita.

   Sa lahat ng nangyaring ito, tila may gustong ipahiwatig sa akin ang tadhana, ayaw akong paalisin sa lupang sinilangan at mabulok na lang ang angking kagandahan sa probinsyang kinasadlakan. Hahahaaayy!   

   Ano ang relevance ng pamagat na “Lateblommer” sa kwento kong ito… abangan! Choz!

SHE

It was my usual weekend trip to the Mall that Henry Sy built in our province ( his second actually), to pay some bills, lo and behold, who do I see..the woman that turned my world upside down. I dreaded of this day to come, to see her again. For the longest time I thought that the last conversation we had was really the end. I have to move on and not lurk onto desperation and depression. I never liked a complicated life.

But there she was, with her latest boyfriend in tow, a 9th board placer, unfortunately I'm still cuter..choz! Wait, I am going ahead of my story..

Before this dreaded day came, modesty aside, an anonymous texter was texted me, inquiring how am I, I naturally asked who was it, the texter did not reply. My students know that I don't answer anonymous text messages, so I ignored the message. Since then I was receiving messages from the same number and still ignored it. 

Then, yesterday after receiving a message greeting me on the positive outcome of my quest to thinness from this nameless texter I inquired again of his/her name. A reply came, and when I read it, there it was, her name. I guess she is trying to build the burned bridge between us. Honestly, I already erased her contact number in my phone, and never memorized it, it's my way of forgetting her totally in my fucked up mind. After seeing her name, I did not reply..but then..


She: Sana d na lang ako nagpakilala noh. Cge Ingat po lagi.

I read that reply when I was preparing to go to bed, after a few drinks of booze from a friend's party. Not to be accused of being 'ungentle-man' again, I replied with a smiley and then went to sleep. When I woke up and checked my phone, a reply from her.. a smiley too.

Then the incident on my way to the mall happened, I first saw the boyfriend (talagang yung lalaki ang una kong napasin! choz!) carrying a box, then I saw her familiar face, chubbier but still pretty, she saw me, and was in kind of shock and manage a smile, I smiled back and walked pass by them, not giving a second look. I just walked on, not looking back.

A few minutes past and a text message from her..


She: Small world huh.


Me: Indeed..


Her: :)

End of Conversation..

I hope.

believe it or not, it's her and I, during our 'happy days'

LATE BLOMMER

I’M BACK MGA ATEH! And I missed you all so much! Grabeycious talaga! ;D

Dami ko lang talaga lang ginagawa, ewan ko nga ba kung bakit nagkapatong-patong ang Gawain ko sa work, parang efficient na titser lang talaga. Choz! Lesson plan dito, Iskul activities dito, doon training dito, doon, alalay ng mga baytamins sa training nila dito, doon.. buti na lang sa pag-alalay sa mga baytamins e hindi natuloy ang pag-trekking naming sa bundok na ke taas-taas, dahil sa walang humpay na pag-ulan. Tenks gudnesh!

Pero ang isang enjoy ako, e nung nautusan akong pumunta ng Divisoria. Stress reliever ko kaya ang bumili ng mga bagay-bagay, which may not necessarily mean na aking pera ang ginagasatos, kaya mas okay yun. Ang di ko lang gusto e dapat mag commute ako dahil di available ang mga caru at vanu ng mga utaw.

The day ng aking pag gora sa Divi, na late ako ng gising, kasi minsan lang mangyari yun na walang pasok sa aking iskul, kaya may I patay my alarm clock. E bukod sa Divi, I have to pass by my favorite Glorrieta to buy something na makakatulong sa aking pagpapayat.  Kaya nung magising ako, nagmamadali ang ateh mo, buti na lang di masyadong maulan nung araw na yun.

But I notice something new or different in how I look at people that day. From Magallanes I have to take the MRT on my way to Ayala and then from the station to the shop where I am supposed to buy something. To the shop I have to go back to the MRT station and ride a train to EDSA station, from there I have to buy a ticket and transfer to LRT line 1 and ride the train again to Doroteo Jose, then a jeepney to Divisoria.

With all that travel time, I noticed that I was regularly checking out men: young, middle aged, thin, buffed, cute, fahionista. Datirati naman di naman ako ganun makatingin sa mga kapwa ko lalaki. Yes I check them out, yung mga kakaiba sa tingin at panlasa ko at saglit lang yun. Yun bang di halata, masakit kayang majombag ng bonggang bongga. Pero iba na ngayun, di lang ako sight.. I was already staring as in nakababad. Nagulat lang talaga ako. When I was refelecting kung bakit ganun, naisip ko na nagsimula ang lahat ng ito nung simulan ko ang blog kong ito. I met friends and people who feel what I feel, talk the way I talk and think the way I think.  And I felt at ease.

A few months ago, I wrote an email of thanks to Mcvie, one of the most fabulous fabcasters I ever heard. When he answered my email, he opened it with ‘Ano ba BAKLA! Okay lang yun!’ honestly I was taken aback; I was not used in being called bakla, discreet chuvaness nga kasi ako mga ateh. Pamintang buo, durog, crystallized, powdered, solidified at kung anek, anek pa, AKO YUN. I do not need to defend my decision to treat my sexually this way. But reflecting on it a little more, my ‘devilish promdi soul’ somewhat made me realize that I need to reconcile my bakla soul with my manly soul. “Mag-usap kayong dalawa, sino ba talaga ang makapangyarihan ikaw na babae ang hanap o ikaw na kapwa ko mahal ko.” Until these two souls make up who’s whom, I will remain the Demonyito lurking in the stillness of the night. Choz!

A friend’s daughter turned 18 recently and all of the old friends where invited for a simple dinner and some drinks. Syempre di mawawala ang tsismis, probinsya kaya ito teh. Kung sinong wala syang topic, at napausapan ang isang konsehal ng bayan naming na kaibigan din naman naming na halata naming beki, kaya lang di umamamin. Then napunta ang usapan sa gobernador naming na dating artista na nag survey daw sa bayan naming kung ilan ang beki at sabi ng kasamahang beki nasa 300 lang daw ang nagpalista, at sa gulat ng marami bigla akong sumingit ng ganito:

Ako: ‘At yung mga paminta as of this afternoon ay 3, 400 na ang count.’
Tawanan ang lahat ng may nag-tanong:
Kaibigan sa akin: ‘Bakot mo alam?’
Ako: Kasi ako yung huling pumirma!
Tawanan uli

Bigla akong nabigla at natanong sa sarili: Nasabi ko yun? Dati rati naiinis ako sa mga ganung comment kahit di ako ang concern. I am changing.

Sabi ko nga noon, I am taking my time, baby steps with pointed toes! Ching! I am slowly accepting who I really am. I don’t need to shout to high heavens about my true sexuality or even explain myself because as far as I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation. My life, my sexuality, my preference, my soul.

And lastly, my ‘gaydar’ also seems to have leveled up. Andami kong naamoy sa mga nakakasalubong ko na, kapareho ko yata ang pabango. Choz! Lalo na nung nasa Glorietta ako, dati naman ang napapansin ko lang e yung mga effem talaga, pero ngayon kahit yung mga kalahi ko na paminta naamoy ko na, bahing nga ako ng bahing! Hihihi ;D

Nice to be back mga kumare! I hope you’re happy than I am! Choz ;D

SIGN

ENOUGH SAID.....THE SIGN SAYS IT ALL

pak! ;D

DIVAS

FINALLY!

Napanuod ko rin ang pinag-uusapang musical play na itich! Salamat kay Jellicle, nalaman ko ang schedule nila this month, kaya may I yaya ang aking best friend with her loving husband of course at ang doktora naming kaibigan na bagong miyembro ng aming munting grupo sa pag gimik (that's  for another story).

Well I paid for the tickets, dahil ako yung nang ibita, okay lang naman, kesa naman kasi ako lang ang mag-isang manuod, tawag na agad ang ateh para makapag-pa-resreve ng tickets. I opted to let my friends choose the date, basta weekend at 3p.m.

So a day before the bog event, I reminded my amigas of our date, unfortunately di pwede ang caru ni bff at biglang kailangan maipasok ang Van ni doktotora sa casa, kaya wala kaming choice kungdi mag-commute.

9a.m ang usapan namin ni bff na magkita sa skul na pinagtuturuan ko. At dahil ulirang ina si bff, late ang lola mo, expected ko na yun, sa tagal ba naming magkaibigan, at si doktora naman ay sa isang mall na lang mag-iintay sa amin. So gora na kami, sakay ng bus, baba sa mall, tinagpo si doktora, sakay uli sa bus papuntang manila para tagpuin naman si papa ni bff.

Ang huli kong luwas sa manila ay nung Pondo ng Pinoy Aniv, at bumili ako ng rubber shoes kay papalicious salesman sa MOA..hay..si papalicious..

sori..natulala ako..

balik sa istorya ng paglalakbay...

dahil nga nabawasan na ako ng tabachingching, nagkasya kaming tatlo sa upuan ng bus at nakatulog si bff..as in tulog..nanaginip pa nga ang lola mo..kaya ang saya-saya nya nung magising siya na nasa EDSA na kami at pababa na ng Robinson's Pioneer, yun yata daw ang pinakamahaba nyang power nap, workaholic si bff.

Pagbaba namin dahil lunch time na, hanap kami ng kakainan,at we ended up at Old Spaghetti House. Okay naman ng food, dahil favorite ko din namang kainan yun. Walang patumanggang chika kaming tatlo habang nagiintay kay papa ni bff. After lunch, as suggested by bff, hanap daw kami ng ibang lugar for dessert, so gora uli, pero napadaan kami ng isang shop na sale ang mga sapatos, lumiwanag ang mata ni bff at doktora parang mga batang nakakita ng maraming candy! Nalimutan na ang dessert!

Biglang dating ni papa ni bff (actually ako ang match maker nag dalawang itich), at dahil six footer si papa kitang kita mo siya agad. Ikot-ikot ng kaunti at dahil hahanapin pa namin ang PETA, nagyayaan na, pero success si doktora at papa ni bff may mga bitbit!

Using my phone's GPS (tutyal!) nakita namin agad ang PETA, pero panic si bff ng makita ang mga nasa harapan ng Theater, dahil naka dress to the max ang mga manunuod na nasa alta sociedad, with matching pearls pa at stilettos! Eh samantalang kami, casual na casual lang, parang sa sine lang pupunta! Bigla kong naalala na sponsored nga pala ng St. Paul Pasig ang show na yun, kaya maraming mga MILF na beso ng beso.

At di matawaran, kasabay namin si Sen. Guingona and wife sa panunuod, at sa likuran lang namin nakaupo. May napuna ako habang nagiintay mag simula ang show, yung mga MILF, isa-isang lumalapit sa isang thunder na babae at sabay sabing: "Miss Lucasan, I'm so and so, do you still remember me?" o kaya ay "Miss Lucasan do you remember so ans so?" At dahil chismosa lang ako I concluded na dati nilang titser ito. Pabulong ko ngang sabi kay bff na lalapit din kami kay Miss Lucasan, at sasabihin ko na : "Miss Lucasan do you remember my friend so and so?", naku dahil titser din ako, tiyak na tatangu lang si Miss Lucasan at ibebeso si bff. Ganun kaya mga titser, sa dami ng mga naging iskwela, di lahat matatandaan, kaya pag may nagpakilala na siya ay si ganun at ganyan, tatangu na lang sya as if kilala nga ang kausap! hahaha!

And when the play started, it was simply amazing. The cast was fabulous with their punchlines, sabi nga ni papa ni bff, hanga sya sa mga gumanap kasi namemorize nila ang ke hahabang linyang yun.

The songs were superb, galing talaga ni Ateng Vince de Jesus, samahan pa ng mga dance routines nilang pak na pak! Di talaga ako napahiya sa aking mga friends. It's all worth the money. Kahit yung mga drama moments ng play ay nakakaantig talaga sa puso at ang kissing scene...sus!...ang swerte ni Ateng Chelsea (played by Melvin Lee), si Myke Salomon ba naman ang kahalikan, kahit pa "I pill like a lesbian"..pak na!

Pasensya kung mas mahaba ang kwento ko tungkol sa byahe namin kesa dun sa play, kase to experience a musical play like that makes you speechless and leave you at awe, with bibig na nakanganga ;D Sarap ulit-ulit sa memory ang mga napanuod ko. Busog na busog ang aking kaluluwa at pinabata ako ng 20 years sa sayang dinulot ng mga narinig at nasaksihan ko.

Sabi nga ni bff, mauulit..ito'y mauulit!

At dahil marami ngang MILF after the show, di ko kinayang makipagsiksikan kaya ito lang pictures ko:

Hanga din ako sa gumanap na Matanda ng mga Caredivas, sana lahat ng tumatanda katulad nyang maunawain at mabait, at nakikita mo ba ang dibdib na yun nung mamang katabi ng matanda..ang sarap di ba?! 

The best talaga si Ateng Vince! Walang katulad..palakpakan din kay Phil Noble at Jason Barcial, galing! 

BRAVO!!!

Our Tickets and the Playbill, I also bought the soundtrack, ganda kasi ng mga songs

At syempre after the show, LAFANG! Dedma muna sa diet..pero hinay-hinay lang...

Ito si BFF at yung nagtuturo si Doktora..Loves na loves ko ang mga yan.. ;D

SONGS

Ang love parang kanta,

laging

                                                     at

                                          to each other

while saying

Kapag nag break, 

lang ang katapat

at limot na ang 

susuyuin 

gamit ang 

at kakanta ng

Hindi 

na

kaya 

uli ang drama.

Dapat kasi 

 lang

kaya wag ng humanap ng

dedicated ito sa mga blogfriends ko na si darknight, wilberchie at buendiaboy.. ;D

SEVEN CAPITAL SINS: GREED (2)

I should be jumping for joy when my pay envelop was handed to me the other day because I got a raised!

Pero wala lang, dahil kulang pa rin.

Lagi na lang ganito pag sweldo, imbis na ngumiti, parang lalong lumalaki problema. No effect na nga rin yata yung convincing mantra ko na:

Okay lang na maliit ang sweldo dahil nakakabayad ka pa sa mga utang mo, hindi katulad ng iba, walang sweldo.

at ito pa isa:

Pasalamat ka sa trabaho mo kasi marami ang gustong nasa lugar mo na walang trabaho o kundi kaya ang trabaho ay magkalkal ng basura! 

Ako rin naman ang dapat sisihin, kasi kung umasta ako sa pag-gastos nung nakaraang summer parang sweldo ng CEO ng multinational company ang tatanggapin ko. Nanaginip lang pala ako. At habang nasa panaginip akong yun, bumili ako ng hulugang 32 inches na LED TV, Desktop na pamalit sa aking jurassic na Computer set, yung running shoes ko na binili kay papalicious salesman sa Nike MOA at lately dahil naisip ko na kailangan sabay ang pagpapaganda ng katawan ang pagpapaganda ng mukha may kinuha akong package sa isang skin specialist. 

O di ba ang gastos! kaya ngayon problemado Lola mo! sus! 

Not to mention the basic bills I have to pay: MERALCO, SMART Gold, SMART Bro, Cable, Amortization sa lupa,  at tuition fee ng mga pamangkin ko! Nag-aaral pa ako niyan ha..

Pano pa ba naman ako makakahada di ba? Wala na. Kaya may kalyo na kamay ko! the left and the right! 

choz! ;D

At alam ko na ang sasabihin mo: Live within your means!

Teh, you don't have to tell me that, because all my life I have been living within my means. Nakakalimot lang pa minsan-minsan. Bakit? Wala na ba akong karapatan na mabili ang gusto ko at hindi na lang puro ukay-ukay. Wala na ba akong karapatang lumigaya! Ayoko ng putik! Ayoko ng masikip!

choz uli! ;D

Haaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssttttttttt! ang lalim nun ha..

Bahala na si Batman..Babalik na lang ako sa batcave..pero mag-window shopping muna akitch...

may ganon?! 

magkano per kilo teh? 

Natanggap ba kayo ng card?

Pakibalot na nga teh! Bilis!

pak! ;D

FRIENDSHIP

To all my blog readers, may you be Pinoys, Fil-Ams, or true blue eyed American who lives in the land of Papa Barack Obama..

;D

the picture was taken from Homo Eroticus.. Thanks Nick!

NANINIWALA AKO!

SA AKING KAPATID NA PONGPONG PAGONG..

O ano ha..ngarag na?..toxic na?..kinakabatutan ka na ba?

Don't worry kapatid..sabi nga ni Mariah Kerry and Whitney Yuston...just believe..at naniniwala ako PAPASA KA!

Relax ka lang ngayun..just chill..nag-aral ka na...nag review ka na..so walang dapat ikatakot, dahil PAPASA KA!

At hindi lang PAPASA, mag ta-top pa!

at kung hindi magyayari..PASASABUGIN KO ANG TAKTENG REVIEW CENTER NA YAN!!!

pero naniniwala akong hindi hahantong sa gayon dahil PAPASA KA!

ngunit konting payo lang kapatid, (kahit di mo hinihingi ;D) sa iyong pagrerelak hindi kasama ang mga sumusunod:

1. pag-iinom ng anumang likido na alcohol o  may halong alcohol (tsaka na, pag pumasa na..sagot ko nga di ba! ;D)

2. paghada O pagrampa ngayun gabi..sa anumang uri..gamit ang kamay, mata, bibig lalo na ang pag-iisip (tsaka na pag pumasa na..sama ako ha..;D)

3. matulog ng maaga..walang t.v, computer, psp o anumang gadget..dapat malinaw at malayo sa distractions ang iyong pag-iisip

4. gumising ng maaga, maligo ng maaga (pedeng may pagbabate on the side, kasi nakaka-alis din ng stress yun at scientifically proven pa!) kumain ng maaga, pumunta sa lugar ng eksamen ng maaga....

5. higit sa lahat, importante sa lahat, mahalaga sa lahat..MANALANGIN SA MAKAPANGYARIHAN SA LAHAT..ano man ang ating relihiyon, ano man ang ating pananaw sa espirituwalidad, may mas Makapangyarihan sa ating lahat..MAGPASALAMAT TAYO SA KANYANG MGA BIYAYA, HUMINGI NG KAPATAWARAN SA MGA MALING NAGAWA, AT HUMINGI NG TULONG NA LINAWAN ANG IYONG PAG-IISIP AT BIGYAN NG LAKAS NG KATAWAN upang masagot ang mga katanungan sa iyong eksamen ng TAMA!

Kapatid, di man tayo talaga magkakilala at nagkikita, pakiramdam ko ay kapatid talaga kita, kaya hangad ko ang iyong pagtatagumpay.

muli NANINIWALA AKO sa tulong ng mga anito, engkanto, dyosa, at buong ka-Bekian sa mundo na paborito ang pink na may feathers at sequins, at saging na Latundan at rainbow ang flag...

PAPASA KA!!!!

halik ng pagmamahal,

Kuya DEMONYITONG PROMDI 
XOXOXO

PAK! ;D

JUNE PRIDE

My favorite Fabcasters, McVie and Gibbs Cadiz with their other fabulous friends have been talking about "coming out" in their recent podcasts. It is an interesting and enlightening topic that hits me straight to my apdo and balun-balunan..

choz..;D

Being 'semi-out' (if there's such a word ;D), is living a double life. A co-worker, who happens to be a close friend, recently told me that one of my students last year asked her if I was gay, she answered the question with a story of me and his brother sharing the same girlfriend (which was true by the way ;D). The student was left dumb mouthed, but I told my friend that if ever the nosy student asks her again about my gender, she should tell me, so I could answer her myself:

Me:  Neng, tinatanong mo kung bakla nga ba ako? Ang sagot e isang malaking OO at excuse me mas makinis ang balat ko sa balat mo at di hamak na mas maganda ako sa iyo!

Tarush! choz lang..wishful thinking baga..hihihi ;D

But kidding aside, I would like to share this video as my contribution to Pride Month entitled: Reteaching Gender and Sexuality

Taas noong Iwina-wagayway ang Rainbow Flag!

Rampa na mga 'teh!!

SEVEN CAPITAL SINS: WRATH OR ANGER

Wrath (anger, hatred) 

Inappropriate (unrighteous) feelings of hatred and anger. Denial of the truth to others or self. Impatience or revenge outside of justice. Wishing to do evil or harm to others. Self-righteousness. Wrath is the root of murder and assault. Dante described wrath as "love of justice perverted to revenge and spite".

Everybody I know thinks that I am fearless.. some of my co-workers even became afraid of me because of my temper. There was an incident a few years back when something went wrong with my SSS contributions that rejected my loan. I was already expecting that money and when it happened, my top blew off and silently I got hold of a cartolina and continuously pounded it on my table until it was smashed into tiny pieces. When I regained composure I realized I was doing it inside our Faculty Room with my co-teachers looking at me really shocked.

Some of my students even see me as a terror teacher. When I was still new in the job, whenever a student makes mistakes I will hit on his head or stomach. My principal even hid me from an angry German father who wants to confront me because I asked his son to kneel in front of the class because he did not attend the Sunday Mass.  The student was not even Catholic. After that school year, the student was transferred out of our school.

I remember a message I got from a good looking young man in Facebook a year ago. 

Young Man: Kilala kita! (I know you!) at di ko malilimutan ang mukhang yan! (and will never forget my face) 

Me: (shocked) how do you know me and why?

Young man: You were the teacher who hit me on my head using as textbook!

Me: What?! I never did that!

Young Man: I will never forget that day, I was in Grade 4..

suddenly it dawn to me..I did do that..in another school were I was assigned to teach in Elementary.

Me: Oh...I remember now..I am very sorry, I don't have any words to say to justify my wrongdoings.

Young Man: Sir, I have long forgiven you..don't think about it.. I was just messing with your head. 

Me: Thank heavens, nothing happened to you that traumatized your childhood.

Young Man: No Sir, nothing that serious happened. I just never forgot you and that incident.

The last time I saw this young man was in website of a known photographer that specializes in sexy poses of sexy men. I think Felix is his name.

Anyway..

But truth is I am a coward, I don't like confrontations. The last time a father of a student, who I thought, understands my work in the school who we both graduated from, wanted to confront me because he thought I was picking on his son. Though the confrontation never happened,the father continued on harassing me, even calling me names and cursing me. I became depressed, because in my mind I was just doing my job. I thought of quitting and my smile faded. I became more ill-tempered and unkind, until my present Boss talked to me which leads to the creation of this blog.

With the new school year, I am also sort of in a new beginning. 

I am smiling more often now.



P.S. And I will not go far as this..

and the winner is via the putikan is.....pak! ;D

SISSY

We just celebrated Father's Day the other and everybody remembered to greet their own fathers.


But if you are a parent, will you do the same to your son?

His brother and sister tried to helped him, but they can only watch and cry with him..

How far will you go to make your son's or brother's life "normal"...

or you really don't know him..being gay is not science..gay is a person, a human being...

PARE

For the longest time.....YOU are the only friends I knew since I went out of the seminary and started my life like the rest of mankind.


For the longest time.... I thought YOU know who or what the real "me", because I never hid it from YOU.



For the longest time.... YOU were my drinking buddies and shared the same glass in every 'tagayan' sessions we have.


For the longest time... We shared laughters, tears, stories, life stories, fears, joys, gossips, opinions, and what-nots because our relationship is not only built on friendship but of blood and faith.


For the longest time... I thought YOU have accepted homosexuals openly because you are not part of the society that condemns and ridicule people like us.

Until that night when we gathered once again to bid a good friend goodbye on his way back to work abroad.



For the first time...I heard homophobic jokes from YOU.


For the first time... I felt like a sinner in front of a condemning mob.


For the first time...I realized that you don't even know the meaning of 'homophobic' because when I told one of you that I never thought that you are one, you answered back: Sino yun?(Who's that?)


For the first time...I realized how dumb I am not to see that your gay jokes were really offensive and hurtful.



For the first time...I felt that I was not with the family I knew and loved.



For the first time...I realized the wisdom behind our group's break up and went on separate ways.

For the first time...It became clear to me who my real friends are and who are not.