CAN I DO THIS?..... CAN YOU?

SICK

I don't feel good..


I am sick..


I hope it's not dengue..

4 THINGS..

4 Things I need to spend more time on in my life:
1. Exercise, I'm still way too far on my target weight.
2. Save some money. I have been spending like hell.
3. Eating less but not eating the right healthy food.
4. Have my house fixed and put up a fence around it.

4 Things I need to spend less time on in my life:
1. In my room.
2. Day dreaming.
3. Thinking of getting old alone.
4. In front of the computer.

4 Things I wish I could spend more time on in my life:
1. Travelling and seeing the world!
2. Demonyitong Promdi, you know I love you guys a lot!
3. My family and best friends and my dog, they are my life.
4. Reading good books.

4 Things I love about myself:
1. My ability to love.
2. My ability to listen to somebody without judging him or her.
3. My creative and humorous mind.
4. Myself! I was Born This Way baby!

4 Things I hate about myself:
1. My nose.
2. My balding head.
3. My chubby built.
4. My emotional Piscean personalty.

4 Things I love that I used to hate:
1. Teaching.
2. Reading.
3. Gay friends.
4. Lady Gaga.

4 Things I hate that I used to love:
1. Smoking.
2. Eating.
3. Gossip.
4. Twitter, I just don't have the luxury of time for it.

4 Things I look forward to:
1. Sex. Who doesn't?
2. Hanging out with friends.
3. Weekends and/or holiday.
4. Updating Demonyitong Promdi.

4 Things I dread:
1. Confrontation.
2. Rejection.
3. Senseless conversation.
4. No one will take care of me at my old age.

4 Things I once believed in but no longer do:
1. I'm bi.
2. Wife.
3. I'll win a Lotto jackpot prize.
4. I can work abroad.

4 Things I believe in that I didn't use to:
1. I could still find friends like…You!
2. Being gay is okay.
3. Exercise.
4. Taking care of my health.

4 Things I love to do but I'm bad at:
1. Writing.
2. Be silent.
3. Be modest.
4. Playing a musical instrument.

4 Things I hate to do but I'm good at:
1. Teaching.
2. Planning Events.
3. Be involve.
4. Telling lies.

4 Things I did that I'm ashamed of:
1. I’ve watched too much porn.
2. I lied a lot when I was young.
3. Not going back to work after a meeting.
4. I took advantage of drunken friends.

4 Things I did that I'm proud of:
1. Demonyitong Promdi.
2. Started losing the extra weight!
3. Teaching for 15 years.
4. Supporting my nieces.

4 Things I didn't do that I regret:
1. Don't
2. Live
3. Yourself in
4. Regret

4 Things I want before I die:
1. Kids.
2. A partner.
3. Happiness.
4. Good Life.

LATE BLOMMER

I’M BACK MGA ATEH! And I missed you all so much! Grabeycious talaga! ;D

Dami ko lang talaga lang ginagawa, ewan ko nga ba kung bakit nagkapatong-patong ang Gawain ko sa work, parang efficient na titser lang talaga. Choz! Lesson plan dito, Iskul activities dito, doon training dito, doon, alalay ng mga baytamins sa training nila dito, doon.. buti na lang sa pag-alalay sa mga baytamins e hindi natuloy ang pag-trekking naming sa bundok na ke taas-taas, dahil sa walang humpay na pag-ulan. Tenks gudnesh!

Pero ang isang enjoy ako, e nung nautusan akong pumunta ng Divisoria. Stress reliever ko kaya ang bumili ng mga bagay-bagay, which may not necessarily mean na aking pera ang ginagasatos, kaya mas okay yun. Ang di ko lang gusto e dapat mag commute ako dahil di available ang mga caru at vanu ng mga utaw.

The day ng aking pag gora sa Divi, na late ako ng gising, kasi minsan lang mangyari yun na walang pasok sa aking iskul, kaya may I patay my alarm clock. E bukod sa Divi, I have to pass by my favorite Glorrieta to buy something na makakatulong sa aking pagpapayat.  Kaya nung magising ako, nagmamadali ang ateh mo, buti na lang di masyadong maulan nung araw na yun.

But I notice something new or different in how I look at people that day. From Magallanes I have to take the MRT on my way to Ayala and then from the station to the shop where I am supposed to buy something. To the shop I have to go back to the MRT station and ride a train to EDSA station, from there I have to buy a ticket and transfer to LRT line 1 and ride the train again to Doroteo Jose, then a jeepney to Divisoria.

With all that travel time, I noticed that I was regularly checking out men: young, middle aged, thin, buffed, cute, fahionista. Datirati naman di naman ako ganun makatingin sa mga kapwa ko lalaki. Yes I check them out, yung mga kakaiba sa tingin at panlasa ko at saglit lang yun. Yun bang di halata, masakit kayang majombag ng bonggang bongga. Pero iba na ngayun, di lang ako sight.. I was already staring as in nakababad. Nagulat lang talaga ako. When I was refelecting kung bakit ganun, naisip ko na nagsimula ang lahat ng ito nung simulan ko ang blog kong ito. I met friends and people who feel what I feel, talk the way I talk and think the way I think.  And I felt at ease.

A few months ago, I wrote an email of thanks to Mcvie, one of the most fabulous fabcasters I ever heard. When he answered my email, he opened it with ‘Ano ba BAKLA! Okay lang yun!’ honestly I was taken aback; I was not used in being called bakla, discreet chuvaness nga kasi ako mga ateh. Pamintang buo, durog, crystallized, powdered, solidified at kung anek, anek pa, AKO YUN. I do not need to defend my decision to treat my sexually this way. But reflecting on it a little more, my ‘devilish promdi soul’ somewhat made me realize that I need to reconcile my bakla soul with my manly soul. “Mag-usap kayong dalawa, sino ba talaga ang makapangyarihan ikaw na babae ang hanap o ikaw na kapwa ko mahal ko.” Until these two souls make up who’s whom, I will remain the Demonyito lurking in the stillness of the night. Choz!

A friend’s daughter turned 18 recently and all of the old friends where invited for a simple dinner and some drinks. Syempre di mawawala ang tsismis, probinsya kaya ito teh. Kung sinong wala syang topic, at napausapan ang isang konsehal ng bayan naming na kaibigan din naman naming na halata naming beki, kaya lang di umamamin. Then napunta ang usapan sa gobernador naming na dating artista na nag survey daw sa bayan naming kung ilan ang beki at sabi ng kasamahang beki nasa 300 lang daw ang nagpalista, at sa gulat ng marami bigla akong sumingit ng ganito:

Ako: ‘At yung mga paminta as of this afternoon ay 3, 400 na ang count.’
Tawanan ang lahat ng may nag-tanong:
Kaibigan sa akin: ‘Bakot mo alam?’
Ako: Kasi ako yung huling pumirma!
Tawanan uli

Bigla akong nabigla at natanong sa sarili: Nasabi ko yun? Dati rati naiinis ako sa mga ganung comment kahit di ako ang concern. I am changing.

Sabi ko nga noon, I am taking my time, baby steps with pointed toes! Ching! I am slowly accepting who I really am. I don’t need to shout to high heavens about my true sexuality or even explain myself because as far as I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation. My life, my sexuality, my preference, my soul.

And lastly, my ‘gaydar’ also seems to have leveled up. Andami kong naamoy sa mga nakakasalubong ko na, kapareho ko yata ang pabango. Choz! Lalo na nung nasa Glorietta ako, dati naman ang napapansin ko lang e yung mga effem talaga, pero ngayon kahit yung mga kalahi ko na paminta naamoy ko na, bahing nga ako ng bahing! Hihihi ;D

Nice to be back mga kumare! I hope you’re happy than I am! Choz ;D

QUOTES

Maiba naman..hindi puro ka-LANDIAN...hihihi ;D



This is for you who thinks that is LIFE is a total FAILURE....

THE TRUTH

hurts...

I have been reading a lot of blog posts that runs with the same topic:

Heart breaks, heart aches..

Wilberchie's World...

Journey of a Buendia boy...

Dark Night..

A relationship they all thought will last forever ended in tears. If a "normal" hetero breakup hurts, what more for PLU's. twice? thrice? or also forever?

Except for a few chosen ones, there are few homosexual relationships that lasts. I don't want to sound so negative but I think that's the truth that we all have to face. I have long accepted that fact. 

That I will be alone.


I've seen this short film from http://walangtruelove.blogspot.com that somehow summarizes things up..

SEVEN CAPITAL SINS: GREED (2)

I should be jumping for joy when my pay envelop was handed to me the other day because I got a raised!

Pero wala lang, dahil kulang pa rin.

Lagi na lang ganito pag sweldo, imbis na ngumiti, parang lalong lumalaki problema. No effect na nga rin yata yung convincing mantra ko na:

Okay lang na maliit ang sweldo dahil nakakabayad ka pa sa mga utang mo, hindi katulad ng iba, walang sweldo.

at ito pa isa:

Pasalamat ka sa trabaho mo kasi marami ang gustong nasa lugar mo na walang trabaho o kundi kaya ang trabaho ay magkalkal ng basura! 

Ako rin naman ang dapat sisihin, kasi kung umasta ako sa pag-gastos nung nakaraang summer parang sweldo ng CEO ng multinational company ang tatanggapin ko. Nanaginip lang pala ako. At habang nasa panaginip akong yun, bumili ako ng hulugang 32 inches na LED TV, Desktop na pamalit sa aking jurassic na Computer set, yung running shoes ko na binili kay papalicious salesman sa Nike MOA at lately dahil naisip ko na kailangan sabay ang pagpapaganda ng katawan ang pagpapaganda ng mukha may kinuha akong package sa isang skin specialist. 

O di ba ang gastos! kaya ngayon problemado Lola mo! sus! 

Not to mention the basic bills I have to pay: MERALCO, SMART Gold, SMART Bro, Cable, Amortization sa lupa,  at tuition fee ng mga pamangkin ko! Nag-aaral pa ako niyan ha..

Pano pa ba naman ako makakahada di ba? Wala na. Kaya may kalyo na kamay ko! the left and the right! 

choz! ;D

At alam ko na ang sasabihin mo: Live within your means!

Teh, you don't have to tell me that, because all my life I have been living within my means. Nakakalimot lang pa minsan-minsan. Bakit? Wala na ba akong karapatan na mabili ang gusto ko at hindi na lang puro ukay-ukay. Wala na ba akong karapatang lumigaya! Ayoko ng putik! Ayoko ng masikip!

choz uli! ;D

Haaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssttttttttt! ang lalim nun ha..

Bahala na si Batman..Babalik na lang ako sa batcave..pero mag-window shopping muna akitch...

may ganon?! 

magkano per kilo teh? 

Natanggap ba kayo ng card?

Pakibalot na nga teh! Bilis!

pak! ;D

NANINIWALA AKO!

SA AKING KAPATID NA PONGPONG PAGONG..

O ano ha..ngarag na?..toxic na?..kinakabatutan ka na ba?

Don't worry kapatid..sabi nga ni Mariah Kerry and Whitney Yuston...just believe..at naniniwala ako PAPASA KA!

Relax ka lang ngayun..just chill..nag-aral ka na...nag review ka na..so walang dapat ikatakot, dahil PAPASA KA!

At hindi lang PAPASA, mag ta-top pa!

at kung hindi magyayari..PASASABUGIN KO ANG TAKTENG REVIEW CENTER NA YAN!!!

pero naniniwala akong hindi hahantong sa gayon dahil PAPASA KA!

ngunit konting payo lang kapatid, (kahit di mo hinihingi ;D) sa iyong pagrerelak hindi kasama ang mga sumusunod:

1. pag-iinom ng anumang likido na alcohol o  may halong alcohol (tsaka na, pag pumasa na..sagot ko nga di ba! ;D)

2. paghada O pagrampa ngayun gabi..sa anumang uri..gamit ang kamay, mata, bibig lalo na ang pag-iisip (tsaka na pag pumasa na..sama ako ha..;D)

3. matulog ng maaga..walang t.v, computer, psp o anumang gadget..dapat malinaw at malayo sa distractions ang iyong pag-iisip

4. gumising ng maaga, maligo ng maaga (pedeng may pagbabate on the side, kasi nakaka-alis din ng stress yun at scientifically proven pa!) kumain ng maaga, pumunta sa lugar ng eksamen ng maaga....

5. higit sa lahat, importante sa lahat, mahalaga sa lahat..MANALANGIN SA MAKAPANGYARIHAN SA LAHAT..ano man ang ating relihiyon, ano man ang ating pananaw sa espirituwalidad, may mas Makapangyarihan sa ating lahat..MAGPASALAMAT TAYO SA KANYANG MGA BIYAYA, HUMINGI NG KAPATAWARAN SA MGA MALING NAGAWA, AT HUMINGI NG TULONG NA LINAWAN ANG IYONG PAG-IISIP AT BIGYAN NG LAKAS NG KATAWAN upang masagot ang mga katanungan sa iyong eksamen ng TAMA!

Kapatid, di man tayo talaga magkakilala at nagkikita, pakiramdam ko ay kapatid talaga kita, kaya hangad ko ang iyong pagtatagumpay.

muli NANINIWALA AKO sa tulong ng mga anito, engkanto, dyosa, at buong ka-Bekian sa mundo na paborito ang pink na may feathers at sequins, at saging na Latundan at rainbow ang flag...

PAPASA KA!!!!

halik ng pagmamahal,

Kuya DEMONYITONG PROMDI 
XOXOXO

PAK! ;D

JUNE PRIDE

My favorite Fabcasters, McVie and Gibbs Cadiz with their other fabulous friends have been talking about "coming out" in their recent podcasts. It is an interesting and enlightening topic that hits me straight to my apdo and balun-balunan..

choz..;D

Being 'semi-out' (if there's such a word ;D), is living a double life. A co-worker, who happens to be a close friend, recently told me that one of my students last year asked her if I was gay, she answered the question with a story of me and his brother sharing the same girlfriend (which was true by the way ;D). The student was left dumb mouthed, but I told my friend that if ever the nosy student asks her again about my gender, she should tell me, so I could answer her myself:

Me:  Neng, tinatanong mo kung bakla nga ba ako? Ang sagot e isang malaking OO at excuse me mas makinis ang balat ko sa balat mo at di hamak na mas maganda ako sa iyo!

Tarush! choz lang..wishful thinking baga..hihihi ;D

But kidding aside, I would like to share this video as my contribution to Pride Month entitled: Reteaching Gender and Sexuality

Taas noong Iwina-wagayway ang Rainbow Flag!

Rampa na mga 'teh!!

'TAY (2)

Just couldn't pass the opportunity to post this message I got yesterday in Facebook from a former student that graduated from High School last school year.

SALUDO PO AKO SA INYO!!! :)
 sir thank you po..kc lgi po kaung andyan sa aming lahat para gabayan at patnubayan sa mga dapat nming gwin.at binubuksan ninyo ang aming kaisipan para malaman nmin ang tama at mli.dhil dito, unti unti nmin nlalaman ang tamang landas na dapat nming thakin. sir salamat din po sa pagturing sa akin n blang tunay n anak. sir khit wala n po kmi sa skul ay ituturing ko prin kaung aking ama. mraming salamat po sir. humihingi din po ako sa pasensya sa aming k pilyuhan at sa aming pagkukulang sa org. sir msaya ako kc nging part kau ng buhay ko.noong una natatakot po tlaga ako sa inyo.pero ngaun. ndi n po bang saya ninyo pong kasama.sir maraming salamat po ksi lagi kaung andyan para pasayahin kmi.at sa oras ng kalungkutan, andyan kau para pangitiin kami.

O devah! San ka pa?!

Katulad ng sinabi ko sa nauna kong post: Who could ask for more! 

I am not pure evil..slight lang..(kaya nga DEMONYITO..hehehe) 

Simple messages like these are things that make you forget that you are overworked and underpaid. Kung baga sa advertisement nung kape, may dahilan ang pagbangon mo tuwing umaga. Hindi naman lahat ang dahilan ay pera o materyal na bagay. Mas madadala ko pa sa hukay ang mga mensaheng yun, kesa sa limpak limpak na salapi (pero di rin naman masamang masamahan ng konting ganun..hihihihi ;D)

Now I can fully appreciate the meaning of how they describe teaching: "Teaching is the Noble Profession". Hindi man ako magkaron ng sariling anak, marami namang tatawag sa akin ng 'TAY. ;D

SEVEN CAPITAL SINS: WRATH OR ANGER

Wrath (anger, hatred) 

Inappropriate (unrighteous) feelings of hatred and anger. Denial of the truth to others or self. Impatience or revenge outside of justice. Wishing to do evil or harm to others. Self-righteousness. Wrath is the root of murder and assault. Dante described wrath as "love of justice perverted to revenge and spite".

Everybody I know thinks that I am fearless.. some of my co-workers even became afraid of me because of my temper. There was an incident a few years back when something went wrong with my SSS contributions that rejected my loan. I was already expecting that money and when it happened, my top blew off and silently I got hold of a cartolina and continuously pounded it on my table until it was smashed into tiny pieces. When I regained composure I realized I was doing it inside our Faculty Room with my co-teachers looking at me really shocked.

Some of my students even see me as a terror teacher. When I was still new in the job, whenever a student makes mistakes I will hit on his head or stomach. My principal even hid me from an angry German father who wants to confront me because I asked his son to kneel in front of the class because he did not attend the Sunday Mass.  The student was not even Catholic. After that school year, the student was transferred out of our school.

I remember a message I got from a good looking young man in Facebook a year ago. 

Young Man: Kilala kita! (I know you!) at di ko malilimutan ang mukhang yan! (and will never forget my face) 

Me: (shocked) how do you know me and why?

Young man: You were the teacher who hit me on my head using as textbook!

Me: What?! I never did that!

Young Man: I will never forget that day, I was in Grade 4..

suddenly it dawn to me..I did do that..in another school were I was assigned to teach in Elementary.

Me: Oh...I remember now..I am very sorry, I don't have any words to say to justify my wrongdoings.

Young Man: Sir, I have long forgiven you..don't think about it.. I was just messing with your head. 

Me: Thank heavens, nothing happened to you that traumatized your childhood.

Young Man: No Sir, nothing that serious happened. I just never forgot you and that incident.

The last time I saw this young man was in website of a known photographer that specializes in sexy poses of sexy men. I think Felix is his name.

Anyway..

But truth is I am a coward, I don't like confrontations. The last time a father of a student, who I thought, understands my work in the school who we both graduated from, wanted to confront me because he thought I was picking on his son. Though the confrontation never happened,the father continued on harassing me, even calling me names and cursing me. I became depressed, because in my mind I was just doing my job. I thought of quitting and my smile faded. I became more ill-tempered and unkind, until my present Boss talked to me which leads to the creation of this blog.

With the new school year, I am also sort of in a new beginning. 

I am smiling more often now.



P.S. And I will not go far as this..

and the winner is via the putikan is.....pak! ;D

SISSY

We just celebrated Father's Day the other and everybody remembered to greet their own fathers.


But if you are a parent, will you do the same to your son?

His brother and sister tried to helped him, but they can only watch and cry with him..

How far will you go to make your son's or brother's life "normal"...

or you really don't know him..being gay is not science..gay is a person, a human being...

PARE

For the longest time.....YOU are the only friends I knew since I went out of the seminary and started my life like the rest of mankind.


For the longest time.... I thought YOU know who or what the real "me", because I never hid it from YOU.



For the longest time.... YOU were my drinking buddies and shared the same glass in every 'tagayan' sessions we have.


For the longest time... We shared laughters, tears, stories, life stories, fears, joys, gossips, opinions, and what-nots because our relationship is not only built on friendship but of blood and faith.


For the longest time... I thought YOU have accepted homosexuals openly because you are not part of the society that condemns and ridicule people like us.

Until that night when we gathered once again to bid a good friend goodbye on his way back to work abroad.



For the first time...I heard homophobic jokes from YOU.


For the first time... I felt like a sinner in front of a condemning mob.


For the first time...I realized that you don't even know the meaning of 'homophobic' because when I told one of you that I never thought that you are one, you answered back: Sino yun?(Who's that?)


For the first time...I realized how dumb I am not to see that your gay jokes were really offensive and hurtful.



For the first time...I felt that I was not with the family I knew and loved.



For the first time...I realized the wisdom behind our group's break up and went on separate ways.

For the first time...It became clear to me who my real friends are and who are not.

FOREBODING

I don't know what it is, but I can feel it in my guts, something is wrong or something bad is waiting to happen. I hate whenever I feel this way, call me crazy or plain paranoid, but it scares the hell out of me.

In addition to that, I have noticed something different with the traffic statistics of my blog's viewers/readers these past week, usually they come through the great blogs of Boss Idol Soltero and Madame Mel Beckham in droves, but lately the traffic changed completely and I don't know the reasons.

Should I be concern?

Should I be paranoid?

or I have to calm myself down and ignore everything I feel and notice.

WTF!!!

GOOD NEWS!

That was what I read today.

It was about an International Conference against child abuse, which will be hosted by our country at the end of the year and to be held at SMX Convention Center of MOA. Organized by the Child Protection Network Foundation (CPN), the annual conference will have the theme: "Creating Safe and Caring Environments for Children".

Read all about it:

MANILA, Philippines - Hundreds of delegates from the Philippines and around the world are expected to attend the annual Ako Para Sa Bata (I Am For The Child) Manila Conference to be held at the SMX Convention Center, Mall of Asia Complex, Manila from December 5 - 7, 2011.

Organized by the Child Protection Network Foundation (CPN), the three-day conference with the theme "Creating Safe and Caring Environments for Children" is set to discuss key issues and feasible measures to effectively combat child neglect.

"Child neglect is one of the most prevalent forms of child abuse. We forget abuse is not limited to the physical aspect, there are also many environmental factors that threaten the emotional wellness of children," said Dr. Bernadette J. Madrid, MD, Executive Director of CPN.

Last year's conference proved to be a success as it was attended by more than 650 participants, including representatives from government and non-government organizations (NGOs), domestic and international law enforcement agencies, medical professionals, academia, as well as parents, social workers, youth and children organizations and the media.

"We will be presenting a comprehensive review of the latest research, on-the-ground experience and different perspectives in tackling child neglect. By bringing together the diverse groups we hope to come up with recommendations that are inclusive, practical and doable in the Philippine setting," said Dr. Stella G. Manalo,Organizing Committee Conference Chair.

The two day symposia will tackle a wide range of topics including: media, sex and violence; proper media diet for children; family values in children; preventing child neglect and child endangerment; safe havens for children in times of disaster / in areas of conflict; caring homes; changing Filipino perspectives in adoption issues; non-violence in the school; and safety in the field, in court or at home.

Post Conference Workshops will be also conducted by the Philippine Society for Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Philippine Society for Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics, Society of Adolescent Medicine of the Philippines, Inc., PsychConsult Inc., and CPN itself.

"The nation cannot afford not to prevent the abuse of its children. Through proper support, training and resources, we can ensure every child gets the bright, safe and healthy future they deserve", concluded Dr. Madrid.

The Child Protection Network Foundation is committed to ensuring that all children in the Philippines and throughout Asia are protected from abuse and neglect. Its mission is to enable child protection specialists and child protection unites (CPUs) achieve excellence in serving abused children and children-at-risk. The foundation shall serve every abused child with compassion and competence ensuring that all abused children and children at risk are safe, healthy, and developing to the best of their potential within a nurturing family environment.

*If you are a victim of child abuse and would like to seek professional help, you can contact the organization through their website: http://www.childprotectionnetwork.org/. 

It is not too late to tell your story and seek for help. 

You are not alone.

But I noticed something while browsing through their published researches, (not that I am being too petty or what) they all focused on young girls or children in general and little are said or mentioned or studies that focused about the ordeals of abused  young boys, physical or sexual. Just asking. ;D

TOWEL

bait-baitan muna ulit akitch mga teh hane..hihihihi ;D



In preparation for the start of our classes ( yes po, di kami kasabay ng karamihan..sa june 13 pa kami magsisimula) and before we have our first faculty meeting, a priest was invited to speak to the faculty. I've heard many spiritual talks before and I thought it will be like that..borrrriiinnng..

But, it was totally different. He compared the importance of a teacher with a towel,

he said that like a towel, a teacher should have the following qualities:

• it must be wide that can hug the whole body and not like a bimpo that can only wipe a small space
• it must be absorbent
• it must be reusable
• and must be for cleansing, in other words, for healing

pak! may nangbato na naman..tinamaan akitch! choz!

and the we proceeded to an activity wherein we have to wash each others feet which symbolizes our commitment to serve each other not only because we have to as dictated by laws or commands, but because we are FAMILY..working together for the good of our students...

another ten months...this really is it...

napapadalas yata  pagiging mabait ko ah..hmmmmm...

DAYFLY

bait-baitan muna akitch mga teh hane..hihihihi ;D



In our life we have moments that we feel that the God we believe in has forgotten us because of numerous problems we experience...








and whenever I feel that way, I learned to look and observe the earth that surrounds me and then count my blessings..








like this Korean young man, who most of his existence felt like a dayfly..sa wika natin..BANGAW..

indeed music is the language of the soul..

binuhay mo ang katawang lupa ko kuya! pak na pak!

BIGGEST LOSER

I was with a girl-friend (who is also in the plus size) last Sunday, when we saw an old friend. Happy to see him, we approached him and exchange pleasantries.

Us: Hi! How are you sir?

Old friend: Hello! Nice seeing you here. I thought both of you were picked as finalists for the Biggest Loser competition.

OUCH!


Me: (to my girl-friend) E sabay kaya nating daganan ang damatans na itich ha?!

Yesterday, while talking with a co-teacher, he suddenly asked me:

Co-Teacher: Kuya, di mo ba naisipang sumali sa Biggest Loser?

(OUCH AGAIN!! masakit na ha!)


Me: Anak ng pitungput-pitong kuba, e unahin ko kayang pag-isipan kung pano kita ipapatumba ha?












And that afternoon, I joined my best friend in waiting for his son to finish his swimming lesson when his brother-in-law (who I detest) out of the blue blurted out:

Pakialamerong Bakulaw: Dapat P, sumali ka sa Biggest Loser, sigurado papayat ka don!


Me: (while giving him a ngiting aso) Naku, di ako papasa dun, masyado pa kasi akong magaan para dun..(sabay talikod, at pabulong na sinasabi: E di ikaw sumali, pakialamerong bakulaw!hmp!) 

And what started this domino of nakaka-wrinkles of unsolicited questions and advices...





Earlier this week, I was talking to former students about our present programs in school when they both noticed something.

Former Student 1: Sir parang may bago sa itsura nyo ngayun?

Former Student 2: Oo nga sir, naninibago nga ako sa inyo..

Me: Ano ba yun? Ano bang nakikita nyo na di ko nakikita?

Former Student 1: Alam ko na sir! Namamayat kayo!

Former Student 2: Ay oo nga sir! Namamayat nga kayo..MAY LEEG NA ULIT KAYO O!

Me: HUWAT DA PACKAGING TAPE?! Magsilayas kayo sa opisina ko!

Today I invited all these people for lunch and served them ginataang BOTCHANG BANGUS, pritong BOTCHANG BANGUS, and rellenong BOTCHANG BANGUS, fresh from Taal, Batangas and Pangasinan!  

!BWAHAHAHAHA! cue thunder and lightning !BWAHAHAHAHA!

Choz lang mga teh!






*side comment lang sa Pinoy Edition ng Big Loser, sana sabayan ni Ate Shawie yung mga contestant para happy ang lahat..

INUMING NAKAKABAKLA

ano daw?




have you heard the news about the effects of plasticizer di(ethylhexyl) phthalate (DEHP) that is found in food/ beverage containers from Taiwan?

IT CAN MAKE BOYS WHO DRINK IT GAYS!

weh..di nga?

ok not exactly gay..

but....a study found that it can reduce the testis weight..HUWAT?!

furthermore,  chemicals in plastics alter the brains of baby boys, making them "more feminine", say US researchers.

wait ano nga ba mga nainum ko lately?

RELATIVE: EPILOGUE

According to surveys, sexual abuse can happen to anybody whatever status you have in life. Most of the time children and adolescents fell prey to manipulative persons who usually are close to them or their families. In the Philippines, if sexual or physical abuse happens with one of their family members, they tend to keep quiet about it fearing of scandalous gossip that spreads like wildfire, which adds insult to injury to the hapless victim.

What happens to the victim?

He or she is left to take care of him/herself, figure out how they can survive alone and answer questions like, “What was that sexual experience really about?” may be the most basic, which could take a while to sort out. It implies other questions, like:

• Was the other person in a position of power or authority over me?
• Was I manipulated into doing sexual things, or into believing I wanted to, even when I really didn’t?
• Did sexual activity change what had been a positive relationship into one that involved secrecy and shame?
• Was the other person using me and not really considering my experience or my needs?
• Did the other person take advantage of vulnerabilities I had at the time – feeling isolated and lonely, feeling excited and curious but ignorant about sex?

Being a victim myself, who at first could not talk to anybody because of fear, anger, sadness, shame and guilt, found myself suppressing it that led me to isolation and made me think that the only way out is to end my life. In my case feeling guilty became the heaviest cross I have to bear, because I later found out that for men who had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences as boys, there can be extreme guilt about ways they responded to sexual experiences and the people involved because of the following reasons: 

• Not saying ‘no’ or physically resisting.
• ‘Letting’ another person take advantage of their sexual ignorance and curiosity.
• Becoming sexually aroused or experiencing sexual pleasure, even when they didn’t want or like what was happening.
• Having engaged in sexual activity with other children, even if they were manipulated or forced by others.
• Not protecting a brother, sister, friend, or other child from someone doing the same things to them.

And in my journey to find answers that could help reconcile the things in my life I found people who can listen, understand and sympathize with me and help me understand that: 

• "It is not now, nor has it ever been your fault!"
• Sexual abuse in any form is never the fault of a child or teenager.
• There is nothing you could possibly say, do, infer, ask for, or initiate that can remove the responsibility every adult has to protect and nurture children and teenagers.
• Despite any instruction from anyone that has abused you, protected your abuser, encouraged you to keep silent, or in any way kept the fact of your being a victim to a vile criminal act from those that can help you, realize your life and your future is not theirs to manipulate or control.
• You may feel afraid, alone, and wondering what to do or where to go. There are numerous resources that can help me cope up. 

I was lucky to find and meet these people.

Finally, to men out there who are/were a victim of sexual abuse, I encourage you to be not afraid and reach out to someone you can trust such as a teacher, relative, a friend’s family, school counselors, local law enforcement and social service agencies.

                            You are not alone and we are here to help you