BIGGEST LOSER

I was with a girl-friend (who is also in the plus size) last Sunday, when we saw an old friend. Happy to see him, we approached him and exchange pleasantries.

Us: Hi! How are you sir?

Old friend: Hello! Nice seeing you here. I thought both of you were picked as finalists for the Biggest Loser competition.

OUCH!


Me: (to my girl-friend) E sabay kaya nating daganan ang damatans na itich ha?!

Yesterday, while talking with a co-teacher, he suddenly asked me:

Co-Teacher: Kuya, di mo ba naisipang sumali sa Biggest Loser?

(OUCH AGAIN!! masakit na ha!)


Me: Anak ng pitungput-pitong kuba, e unahin ko kayang pag-isipan kung pano kita ipapatumba ha?












And that afternoon, I joined my best friend in waiting for his son to finish his swimming lesson when his brother-in-law (who I detest) out of the blue blurted out:

Pakialamerong Bakulaw: Dapat P, sumali ka sa Biggest Loser, sigurado papayat ka don!


Me: (while giving him a ngiting aso) Naku, di ako papasa dun, masyado pa kasi akong magaan para dun..(sabay talikod, at pabulong na sinasabi: E di ikaw sumali, pakialamerong bakulaw!hmp!) 

And what started this domino of nakaka-wrinkles of unsolicited questions and advices...





Earlier this week, I was talking to former students about our present programs in school when they both noticed something.

Former Student 1: Sir parang may bago sa itsura nyo ngayun?

Former Student 2: Oo nga sir, naninibago nga ako sa inyo..

Me: Ano ba yun? Ano bang nakikita nyo na di ko nakikita?

Former Student 1: Alam ko na sir! Namamayat kayo!

Former Student 2: Ay oo nga sir! Namamayat nga kayo..MAY LEEG NA ULIT KAYO O!

Me: HUWAT DA PACKAGING TAPE?! Magsilayas kayo sa opisina ko!

Today I invited all these people for lunch and served them ginataang BOTCHANG BANGUS, pritong BOTCHANG BANGUS, and rellenong BOTCHANG BANGUS, fresh from Taal, Batangas and Pangasinan!  

!BWAHAHAHAHA! cue thunder and lightning !BWAHAHAHAHA!

Choz lang mga teh!






*side comment lang sa Pinoy Edition ng Big Loser, sana sabayan ni Ate Shawie yung mga contestant para happy ang lahat..